Talking to Your Child About Cancer

Family members bear a great emotional burden when a relative is diagnosed with cancer. Coping with a life threatening illness brings out reactions and emotions that may surprise both patient and family. It is natural to assume that the youngest members of the family unit – the children – are too vulnerable to be burdened with the anxiety and fear that come with cancer. Adults are inclined to "spare them," assuming a child will be traumatized by the implications of a cancer diagnosis.

While it is important to consider a child´s age and emotional maturity, it can be a mistake to leave a child out of a family event as significant as a diagnosis of life-threatening illness. They may feel isolated or not important enough to be included.

Children are filled with a natural empathy. Often their simple perspective on the world provides comfort to the family struggling with their own fears. Another reason to tell your child about cancer is that they are likely to find out anyway. No matter how young, children have a special ability to sense their parents´ emotions. It´s better to be honest with them from the start than to try and hide the truth. Not talking about cancer allows a child to imagine situations that may be worse than reality. It is important to remember that there is a hopeful side with the possibility of cure or remission. Being honest with your children – even when it is very difficult – will teach them to trust you.

Although parents may feel it is wrong to "burden" children by talking about death, it is important to give them time to absorb the news, ask questions and find ways to express feelings. When facing the serious illness of a loved one it is important to allow everyone – even our children – to be part of the support and comfort the family structure provides.

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